A Pure Curse

I write,
The words I cannot say,
For fear or guilt,
For those I cannot admit.

That time you asked,
And I evaded the question,
Purely and simply because
The answer was You.

I write,
In fear of what you might do,
Of your repulsion
If I spoke aloud

When all feeling subsides,
All but one,
I cannot abide knowing,
That I cannot have You.

I write,
Because of the guilt I harbour,
When you ask for friendship,
And I secretly lust for more.

For my strong heart,
Has not missed a single love struck beat,
Since the first day my eyes,
Met yours.

This is my curse,
The pain feeding on my very essence,
Inevitable purity,
Of the love that I still bear You.